I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i love accidental penises.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
