I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
ugly people sure do ruin things
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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