May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
