oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
