Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
