i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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