ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
