I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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