Can i not drive my cunt home
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
