Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
