tell your sister to shave her snatch
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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