So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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