So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
