I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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