its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
