Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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