I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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