nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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