Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
