we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
