college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
