Got a toothbrush?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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