i jhust puked up my retainher.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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