God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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