i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
