got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
