We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
