now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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