Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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