So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think my fart just growled at me.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
