covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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