He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she looked like the before picture.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
