You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I've blown a few things in my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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