The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
