return my video game
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
