If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we're making bets on your personal life
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
soo... how was my night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
