May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
