Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
