Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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