I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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