Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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