what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
