bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
