so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
