I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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