if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've blown a few things in my day
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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