Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
