there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
