i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I need a burrito and a hug.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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