party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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