I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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