I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
