He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
