they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's official drugs can't kill me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
