Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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