just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
