U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
