He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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