I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
God, I missed his penis.
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