We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize