My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
