maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
