Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection