I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together