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• (408): View more from California

  i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.

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• (631): View more from New York

  My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.

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