my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.