Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
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then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
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this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?