Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.