Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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