I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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