Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
